Good friends talk about money

A little over a decade ago I was chatting with my friends and we got on the topic of ways to manage money in a relationship. We were both recently married, her longer than me, and my husband and I were going to start joining our finances. My parents took the approach of contributing to the household bills/savings/investments as a percentage of each of their income and then what was left over was theirs to spend as they wished. This was one approach but I have always felt that it doesn't matter how much you bring in - if each partner is contributing to the household, either through work or childcare, then you are contributing equally to the household finances. I say this from the perspective of both the lower and higher income earner of the household as I have been both.

So getting back to the conversation with my friend...her and her husband would each have a certain amount of 'fun money' an allowance of sorts. This is their play money for the month - the same amount each and they agree on the amount together. I ran the idea past my husband, who also liked it, so we gave it a shot. We have been using it ever since and it's a game changer for us financially and as a couple. If my friend and I hadn't gotten on the topic of money I am not sure if I would have come across that idea or even if I had read it on a blog or heard it on a podcast I don't know if I would have implemented it. My friend, who I trust and respect, gave me a suggestion which I tried and it worked. Friends are a safe space to talk about money and may have wonderful ideas and suggestions that you can learn from or you can share your ideas with them too.

Notice how my friend and I didn't exchange anything about our financial standing, any specific dollar amounts, any particular stress or shame we harboured about money? Just two friends talking, about a very common topic that we each face, and what we talked about made a big difference in my life and relationship. Good friends talk about money.